How do we measure happiness? For someone who’s battled with their mental health for years, I find seeing and ‘calculating’ my happiness a bit difficult sometimes.
I think it’s easy to draw comparisons to someone else’s “happiness” in this day and age. Those perfect pictures on Instagram and happy posts on social media. It’s easy to think “well I don’t have things as good” or drives ridiculously stupid needless jealousy “why hasn’t that promotion/lottery win/insert life changing moment here happened to me yet?” It’s stupid because every life is different, everyone’s journey is different and what makes you happy differs from person to person.
I’ve tried to take a bit of a step away from this myself lately. Opening up about my bad days on my social feeds. Relatable “bad day” comics/cute pictures on my feed and honest captioning where possible. Because it’s ok to not be ok. And I’ll be honest with you readers, I’ve struggled a bit
lately for a while. Life is a melting point of moments, for me they seem to currently be mainly challenging ones, and it’s been a bit of a battle. So finding happiness in an overwhelming onslaught of self doubt, changing friendships, being a good friend to others (I am over caring and often get too wrapped up/involved) and what not is rather difficult at times.
There are happy moments. It’s definitely easy to get lost at the moment, but there are. I wouldn’t call myself a particularly negative person, but sometimes I have to strive to find happiness in the dark and to remind myself of these happy moments. Be it successfully getting myself out for a run, a walk and talk with Dr W, a night in of cuddles and silliness with Dr W on the sofa, meeting up with good friends or even just writing a letter to an old friend. The small things add up to an overall more measurable happiness and help me realise things actually aren’t as bad as I think they are.
As well as Dr W (who has been a rock in recent weeks) I have good friends and family around me and a lot of support. Being open is more helpful than hiding like I have done in the past. I feel positive that I can move through this dark patch. So you’ll see more Happy Things posts as I’ve really missed sharing them. You’ll probably also see some more honest posts about life, because sharing something like this might help encourage someone else to talk about how they are.
Remember it’s ok to not be ok. And I know I’m posting this the day after #worldmentalhealthday but I get lost with what each day of the year is dedicated to! Although someone let me know when world donut day is, I’d definitely partake in that…
P.S. Check out resources for mental health (support and sources of help) on Mind.
P.P.S. Photos are taken around the Derwent Dam and Ladybower Reservoir.