Existential Crisis. An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions if their life has meaning, purpose, or value. I’m turning thirty this year, and a lot of people keep asking me if I’m starting to panic as I say goodbye to my twenties.
Now I assumed I would be having that typical pre thirty existential crisis (think Joey in friends). But as I’m one of the last of my friends to turn thirty these crisis feelings have been abated somewhat by everyone else. I feel like I made the most of my twenties and I am ready to embrace this next chapter of my life. So today I thought I would share some things I learnt from my twenties, that may help you on the eve of your 30th or through your twenties…
Learn what to worry about
I wish I’d realised this one sooner. But it’s taken me a long time to stop worrying. It’s a wasteful use of energy. Worrying about past conversations, future situations and basically everything. To be honest, this one took me most of my twenties to work out and work through. I have learnt how to isolate these worrisome thoughts, and have realised how much of an energy zap worrying is. Some things are worth worrying about, others really not.
How to stop giving a shit
Kinda linked to the one above, but not so. There’s too many people telling you how to act, how to blog, what to wear, what to drink, where to go, etc. This is one I achieved a long time ago. I was a goth at school and got beaten up for it several times. But ya know, it didn’t stop me from being me. People are idiots, but they’ll get over it. Do what you want, be who you want to be and live your life!
Look after number one
I had a period of time where I was single, a rather long period of time actually. This was after a pretty crappy relationship (read this post by Vix for partly why was so crap). I’d lost who I was and I had lost all sense of me. I realised then, that in a relationship yes you can bend and change somewhat but you should never give up who you are. Living alone and being single really did show me how to live and how to be. It also taught me not to compromise in a relationship and to look after number one.
This is so important. Be humble too. So many people don’t have it as easy as you may do. Others may not be able to experience the things you’ve experienced. Be thankful for what you have had the chance to do and the experiences that make up your life, as well as the family/friends you have.
Learn to cook
Crikey, how many people did I meet at uni who didn’t even know how to switch an oven on. You really don’t need to be the next Rick Stein, but I do suggest building up a small repertoire of recipes that you can cook from scratch. Not only is it healthy and more nutritious to cook from scratch, cooking can actually be quite calming and mindful. We often rush too much in our lives, this is something I have learnt. Try to be mindful in every day tasks.
Do no harm, take no shit
I learnt this one the hard way. I absolutely f*cked up one of my best friendships, and it hurt me more than them in the end. It’s karma, you can’t be an arsehole and not expect it to come back to you. It led me to change my attitude somewhat, I look after my friends and cherish them. Friends are just like family and you should treat them that way. But you should also treat people you don’t know with kindness, and never judge a book by its cover.
Hugs are the one
Last but not least a hug goes a long way. Not only have they been shown to help with blood pressure, they’re just so comforting. Give a friend you’ve not seen in a while hug, hug someone who you think is having a bad day, give your cat a good cuddle and don’t forget to hug your family too.
I’m hoping this little list is even just a smidgen helpful to those reading it, whether you’re in your twenties or turning thirty also.
I’ll finish by asking, what did you learn in your twenties that you wish you had sooner? Or do you have any advice for nearly 30 year old me? Let me know in the comments,